miserable??

march 20.2010

things getting worst..people around me looks at me so blankly that they are letting me feel so annoyed. as if ive done something so ew and so damn dumb. i was thinkning at this moment have i created something out of just nothing and have i jsut done something out a nutshell with out using my brains out.??em i so stupid enough to let jsut thiongs screw everything. everybody was talking abt me and my sisters bro hanz..out of love and care for him i lied to them as always just to hide everything im feeling and everything im going through since htey dont even bother ask..all they just belive is what others say and what they is true.. i have gone out so mad so blue so numb im tired of it realy,saying giving up is almost next in line,.not giving up on him but giving up on living the same way again and again..
i felt his sufering right now figthting not to loose me...just as iam wondering ans worying of his status that he is her ein baguio with out no help at all,hta only me could help him ..im being screwed fianncialy and emotionaly ands everyting..
there are jsut some thing i have to get along with of just using my mind from right and wrong and keeping it hidden suince no one botehrs to care and no one bothers to sa y hi how are you ...im done my decisions all screwed and all messed up...its jsut really over??