july 25.2010
waiting for grace to come and change my life.. i always wanted change but i never tried to see how to change.. hush when will thing go according to plan .. ive made som uch palns and never met one plan in action at all,,,, i'm so dieing already ,,,,
i couldnt have someone to tell all this stuff cos im jyst afraid it would get much woprst instead of better.. im jsut clearly tired of it on and on and on .....
could it just be problem solving in easy mode..im so totaly out of my mind ...so blank and so numb...'
;-( why is ithis so killing me
About Me
- fingerbleed
- my name is cindy..i am me saying the truth behind me.thank you for trying to read it and trying to see what it realy shows you to know.thank you for atleast i open "me" to the world where i feel i dont belong,.thanks
Monday, July 26, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
numb!!
july 25.2010
im getting numb mor and more lately of what is happening with me and him as well as things im going throuhg with all my finances that im always short and so brokeat all times that i jsut wanted to just sleep and never wake up anymore.. problems and all hte stuff is killing bit by bit already...
latley im in a tough decision making wiht him as well cos he is finally setting me free it seems like i dont like cos im already used to having him arround ..used to seeing him do things for me ...it made cry a lot of times more !!!!!!!!!!!!!dont want that anymore...hope to be oever with it anymore..
at home is like a home for numbnes cos im useed to faking wiht all the stuff i do jsut for them not to notice anything suspicous.hanging out alone with tv and bed to just sleep and do my daily routines...sleep clean and work that it...
so worried that it might make more identities that taking over me bit by bit,,.,im jsut so freaking tired and retrded rigth now...
im crossing my fingers hat thins would be better once the next month comes that ill be fine wiht finances once i get mmy pay and stuff nad i cross my fingers for a good stats at work and reliablity that im fixing...
hush Lord@!!!! help
im getting numb mor and more lately of what is happening with me and him as well as things im going throuhg with all my finances that im always short and so brokeat all times that i jsut wanted to just sleep and never wake up anymore.. problems and all hte stuff is killing bit by bit already...
latley im in a tough decision making wiht him as well cos he is finally setting me free it seems like i dont like cos im already used to having him arround ..used to seeing him do things for me ...it made cry a lot of times more !!!!!!!!!!!!!dont want that anymore...hope to be oever with it anymore..
at home is like a home for numbnes cos im useed to faking wiht all the stuff i do jsut for them not to notice anything suspicous.hanging out alone with tv and bed to just sleep and do my daily routines...sleep clean and work that it...
so worried that it might make more identities that taking over me bit by bit,,.,im jsut so freaking tired and retrded rigth now...
im crossing my fingers hat thins would be better once the next month comes that ill be fine wiht finances once i get mmy pay and stuff nad i cross my fingers for a good stats at work and reliablity that im fixing...
hush Lord@!!!! help
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